The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.
I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.
The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.
Der Haustierspeicher verkaufte sie für fünf Cents ein Stück.
Ich dachte, dass dieses ungerade war, da sie normalerweise Paare tausend waren. Ich entschied, mich ein Geschenkpferd im Mund nicht zu schauen, also kaufte ich 200 von ihnen. Ich mag Affen.
Ich nahm meine 200 Affen nach Hause. Ich habe ein großes Auto. Ich ließ einen von ihnen Antrieb. Sein Name war Sigmund. Er wurde verzögert. Tatsächlich waren keine von ihnen wirklich hell. Sie hielten, sich zu lochen in den Genitalien. Ich lachte. Sie lochten mich in den Genitalien. Ich stoppte zu lachen.
Ich lebte sie in meinen Raum in Herden. Sie didn' t passen sich sehr gut ihrer neuen Umwelt an. Sie würden weg von sich der Couch an den großen Geschwindigkeiten und am Knall in die Wand schreien und schleudern. Obgleich humorvoll zuerst, verlor das Schauspiel seine Neuheit in der Mitte in it' s-dritte Stunde. Zwei Stunden später fand ich heraus, warum alle Affen so billig waren; sie starben ganz. Kein offensichtlicher Grund. Sie alle gerechte Art von absolut gefallen. Ein bisschen wie, wenn Sie einen Goldfish kaufen und es stirbt fünf Stunden später. Verfluchte preiswerte Affen des Gottes.
I didn' t wissen was zu tun. Es gab 200 tote Affen, die ganz über meinem Raum liegen; auf dem Bett im Aufbereiter, hängend von meinem Bücherschrank. Er schaute, wie ich 200 Wurfwolldecken hatte. Ich versuchte, ein unten zu spülen die Toilette. Es didn' t-Arbeit. Sie erhielt fest. Dann hatte ich ein, das tot sind, nassen Affen und hundert neunundneunzig tot, trockene Affen.
Ich versuchte vorzutäuschen, dass sie gerade angefüllte Tiere waren. Das arbeitete für eine Weile, das ist bis sie anfing zu zerlegen. Es begann, reales Schlechtes zu riechen. Ich musste pinkeln, aber es gab einen toten Affen in meiner Toilette und in I didn' t möchten einen Klempner anrufen. Ich war verlegen. Ich versuchte, die Aufspaltung zu verlangsamen, indem ich sie einfror. Unfortuantely dort war nur genügend Raum für zwei auf einmal, also musste ich sie alle 30 Sekunden ändern. Ich musste die ganze Nahrung in der Gefriermaschine auch so essen es didn' t gehen Schlechtes.
Ich versuchte, sie zu brennen, aber wenig wusste ich, dass mein Bett feuergefährlich war. Ich musste das Feuer auslöschen. Dann hatte ich einen toten, nassen Affen in meiner Toilette, zwei tot, gefrorene Affen in meiner Gefriermaschine, und hundert siebenundneunzig tot, verkohlte Affen in einem Stapel auf meinem Bett.
Der Geruch wasn' t-Verbessern. Ich wurde an meiner Unfähigkeit, sich die toten Affen zu entledigen aufgeregt und ich musste das Badezimmer wirklich benutzen. So ging ich und schlug streng einen der Affen. Ich fühlte mich besser.
Ich versuchte, sie wegzuwerfen, aber der Abfallmann sagte, dass die Stadt nicht durfte, sich verkohlte Primas zu entledigen. Ich erklärte ihm, dass ich ein nasses hatte. Er couldn' t nehmen ihm irgendein. I didn' t-Störung, die nach den gefrorenen fragt.
Ich kam schließlich zu einer Lösung. Ich gab sie heraus als Weihnachtsgeschenke. Meine Freunde didn' t wissen durchaus was zu sagen. Sie täuschten vor, sie zu mögen, aber ich könnte sie erklären lag. Ingrates. So lochte ich sie in den Genitalien.
Ich mag Affen.
The domestic animal memory sold it for five cents a piece.
I thought that this odd was, since they were normally pairs thousands. I decided not to look me a gift horse in the mouth therefore I bought 200 of them. I like apes.
I took my 200 apes home. I have a large car. I let of them drive to one. Its name was Sigmund. It was retarded. None were really bright actually of them. They held, to punch itself in the genital organs. I laughed. They punched me in the genital organs. I stopped to laugh.
I lived it into my area in herds. It didn' t adapt very well to their new environment. They would cry to the couch at the large speeds and at the bang away of itself into the wall and would spin. Although humorously first, the play lost its novelty in the center in it' s-third hour. Two hours later I found out, why all apes were so cheap; they died completely. No obvious reason. They all fair kind of absolute please. A little as, if you buy a gold fish and it dies five hours later. Cursed inexpensive apes of the God.
I didn' t know which to do. There were 200 dead apes, which lay completely over my area; on the bed in the editor, hanging of my bookcase. It looked, how I had 200 throw blankets. I tried to rinse down the toilet. It didn' T-work. It kept firm. Then I had in, who am dead, wet apes and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry apes.
I tried to pretend that they were straight filled animals. That worked for one while, is to it began to divide. It began to smell material bad. I had pinkeln, but there was a dead ape in my toilet and in I didn' t would like to call a plumber. I was move. I tried to slow the fragmentation down by freezing it. Unfortuantely there was only sufficient area for two at one time, therefore I had to change her every 30 seconds. I had also in such a way to eat the whole food in the freezing machine it didn' t go bad.
I tried to burn it but I knew few that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had a dead, wet ape in my toilet, two dead, frozen apes in my freezing machine, and dead, ape in a pile charred one hundred ninety-seven on my bed.
The smell wasn' T-improving. I became at my inability, the dead apes to get rid of excited and I had the bathroom to really use. Thus I went and struck strictly one of the apes. I felt better.
I tried to throw it away but the waste man said that the city was not allowed, charred Primas to get rid of. I explained to him that I had a wet. It couldn' t take any to it. I didn' T-disturbance, which asks for the frozen.
I came finally to a solution. I published it as Christmas presents. My friends didn' t know quite which to say. They pretended to like it but I could her explain lay. Ingrates. Thus I punched it in the genital organs.
I like apes.
